Day 83 - Step into my Office

Here I am - surrounded by dark wooden chairs, behind a desk, a printer nearby, a multi-line phone blinking, plush blue carpet underfoot and the drone of (official-sounding) conversations on the other side of the wall. 

Have I started a new job? Or perhaps I have completely immersed myself in method acting and rented an office to prepare myself for re-employment? (IIII am employed. I AM employed. I am EMployed. I am emPLOYED. Which sounds better?)

Today I am practicing the refined art of office squatting. Ingredients: One invitation to visit the office of a friend or family member and one free office (sometimes the office even has a door.) Et viola! It's the Mr. Potato Head of office spaces. (You have the basics - dress it up and use it as you like!)

Besides being a nice break in routine, office squatting can pop you from solo clone to hale and hearty office shape. Sprint past the office politics! Heed the obnoxiously ringing reception phone! Scavenge for a pen! Hunt down the bathroom key! Eavesdrop on conversations (my personal favorite)! Trip on that ridiculous plastic shield shoved under the chair's wheels!

All that is missing now is the Susie Chattie co-worker and the (suspect) head gear for the phone.

Office squatting, however, is only step one of covert work infiltration. The real accomplishments grow into sneaking into meetings or - even more impressive - running a meeting for your (pretend) project. Get to that level and you can easily convince Rudy in payroll to (add you to payroll) give you a raise.